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Post by RandallBoggs on Jul 9, 2008 19:11:25 GMT -5
Another try ha ha ^0^
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Post by RandallBoggs on Jul 13, 2008 21:00:17 GMT -5
And thus the training starts ^_^
RAN? AND KIDS? ^0^ ^0^
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Post by pitbulllady on Jul 13, 2008 21:14:12 GMT -5
I've always really considered the possibility-no, PROBABILITY-that prior to his becoming involved with building the Scream Extractor, Randall would have had a "Significant Other"-a girlfriend/fiance', if not a wife, and might have actually had a pretty stable relationship. Once he became more and more involved, though, with his boss's top-secret project, it would have meant him having to spend more and more time away from home, and away from any close contacts. Now, imagine yourself in the place of Randall's shall we say, "Significant Other" for a moment: he starts coming home from work, later and later, IF he comes home at all. When he does, he refuses to give a viable explanation as to where he's been or what he's been doing. He acts tired, and evasive. Personal time together gradually decreases, until it's virtually non-existent, and still he refuses to tell you what's going on, or brushes his absences off as unimportant, or gives some vague response like, "I just can't tell you right NOW, but hopefully, in a little while, you will find out". Now, what's a girl supposed to think under those circumstances? That would put a strain on even the closest relationship.
What actually inspired me is that SOMEWHERE on the DVD, and I absolutely have forgotten how to find it-there IS a rough-animated, deleted scene in which Randall DOES have a girlfriend, who visits him, quite by surprise, while he's at work. She's fat and spoiled, obviously, and constantly nags him about how they "never talk anymore" and how he "never spends time with her" and how she's "bored", really giving the impression that she tended to think of him as nothing more than her personal "Sugar Daddy/Boy Toy", who existed primarily for her on-demand, uhm, "entertainment", rather than someone who's relationship was or ever had been based on love and respect. Thankfully, that was dropped, BUT, it definitely put into motion the whole concept of "what IF Randall had a girlfriend or wife, at least up until his involvement with that machine?" Now, I'm definitely NOT saying that Sandra is anything like that, but since their budding relationship is clearly pre-Scream Extractor, it will certainly be interesting to see how his upcoming involvement in that, and the fact that he absolutely CANNOT TELL ANYONE about it, not even her, is going to affect that relationship.
pitbulllady
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Post by RandallBoggs on Jul 16, 2008 19:02:28 GMT -5
Ran and kids is still funny ^0^
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Post by sympathetic on Jul 19, 2008 0:48:06 GMT -5
^ Wow... I actually don't think you've put too much fluff in it - there's just the right amount. And this is far better than any other Randall fanfic I'd be able to write anyway! XD
PS: Congrats on reaching 1,000 posts! Just noticed that a few seconds ago...
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Post by RandallBoggs on Jul 19, 2008 21:41:14 GMT -5
Hehehe good good ^_^ Was waitin for another chapter to appear ^_^ Just the right amount of fluff ^0^
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Post by RandallBoggs on Jul 21, 2008 19:17:06 GMT -5
Hahah ^_^ I have the same problem ^_^ It's all deciding what you WANT the reader to know and what they should imagine themselves ^_^ For instance, important characters should be described very well. For enivornments, key points and perhaps feeling. For non-important characters, have them sort of be defined by one aspect (mustache, lazy eye, etc.) ^_^
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Post by pitbulllady on Jul 28, 2008 9:55:08 GMT -5
Very good, and very credible. I can totally hear this conversation; Randall is very much in-character and Sandra's reactions to her blossoming feelings for him, as well as her reaction to the inept, stupid trainees(Sandra doesn't want to become a teacher, seriously), is very believable. The rate at which this relationship(Randall and Sandra) is developing is very believable-not rushed, not too slow-as are her reservations about jumping into a romance at this point. When you write for Sandra, you do a good job of capturing that feeling of trepidation about getting "burned" again, and that's a tough one to get down in print. You've also done a good job dropping hints of Randall's involvement with something unsavory, without giving away TOO much. This would read well even for someone who'd never seen the movie, and had no idea who Randall, Waternoose, etc., were, in the context of the movie, but it is even better for us, because it shows Randall's normal, everyday behavior, while setting up the reasons behind his "fall".
pitbulllady
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Post by RandallBoggs on Jul 28, 2008 19:50:30 GMT -5
I agree with Pitbulllady ^_^ I'm not so much a romance writer or viewer (though WALL-E had re-established that ^_-), but your doing a pretty good job ^_^ Some romance stories move WAY too fast, and most real realtionships DON'T (well unless the woman or man is a gold digger 0_-). and I can't help but laugh everytime Randall is being a tease or such ^0^
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Nidhiki
Randall's Skivvy (0-299)
Evil comes in all shapes and sizes
Posts: 249
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Post by Nidhiki on Aug 6, 2008 6:34:29 GMT -5
i think it's good...good job ;D
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Post by RandallBoggs on Aug 6, 2008 19:31:53 GMT -5
That's cause we're good readers ^0^
Ahh I have that too 0_0 Ran's got one of his with over 100 yet still no overly reviews....then again, his get allot more than mine 0_- ^0^
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Post by RandallBoggs on Aug 10, 2008 19:24:22 GMT -5
Seems assistants high on sugar can be common 0_0 ^0^
Tahaha, lost in the glare oh jeez that was good ;D
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Post by RandallBoggs on Aug 23, 2008 18:56:54 GMT -5
D-A-T and E. D-A-T and E! ^0^
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Post by RandallBoggs on Sept 23, 2008 20:30:12 GMT -5
I may be able to beta ^_^ I've been working on a specific CoMONdy for reasons so maybe I can come up with something ^_^
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2008 21:02:54 GMT -5
Oh I'd love to beta this! Fortunately I'm not writing anymore for now, and wouldn't have to worry about losing inspiration for any stories I'm not currently working on. I don't have many commitments other than school either, but I guess Sean got this first, so he gets dibs but yeah, I could chime in as well. XD
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