Random Quotes!

[Beboots]

The title of an old thread gave me an idea...

I just love collecting good quotations; whether they're inspirational, uplifting, sarcastic, or just plain funny. Everybody; share your favorite quotes! ;D I'll add more later (I collect the things). Oh, and feel free to add in jokes -- it's always good to know a few original ones.

"I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or green... Wait a minute. Purple or green? You gotta draw the line somewhere. Screw purple people. Purple people suck. Unless they're suffocating, then help 'em." -Random Comedian
"Even in the valley of the shadow of death, two and two do not make six." -Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
"Heads, I win, tails, you lose." (... think about it...)
Harry Potter and the Chamber Maid's Half-filled Goblet of Stone Ordered from Prison (not a quote, but just awesome)
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
-Steven Wright
"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."
-Henny Youngman
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
"A true friend stabs you in the front."
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
"Featuring, as it does, a deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath who commits appalling acts of violence and cruelty upon all those around him and escapes scot-free, it is greatly enjoyed by small children." -Wikipedia article on Punch and Judy
"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."
~Stephen King
"The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth."
-Niels Bohr
Most awesome summary for a fanfic EVAR: The Substitute by ColdCoffeeEyes25
When Hagrid pops the question to Madame Maxime and the wedding date is set for April, the Hogwarts faculty must find a replacement Care of Magical Creatures teacher. Crossover with The Crocodile Hunter.

[MelTSS]

Fairly Odd Parents -
"Remember, Timmy! 2 wrongs don't make a right!"
"Yeah! But 3 rights make a left, and now it's time for the show!"

Digimon -
Oh, it's just a bird. A very LARGE bird....a very large ANGRY bird....RUN!"

"My computer isn't working!"
"Just give it a couple of whacks!"

"So uh, how does this thing work?"
"Do you know what a semi-conductor is?"
"..........A guy who works on a train part time?"

Spongebob -
"But don't genius live in a lamp?"

The life and times of Juniper Lee -
Somebody dance with me! I got me the fever!

Roseanne -
"HOW DARE YOU!"
"BECAUSE I CAN, THAT'S WHY!"
"Do you know what I'm talking about!?"
"NO, but I don't like your tone!"

My friend -
"A good friend would bail you out of jail. Your best friend would be sitting right beside you saying "DAMN! THAT WAS FUN!"

"If you and your friend are being chased by a homicidal maniac, there's only one thing to do. Trip your friend."

[Beboots]

meltss said:

My friend -
A good friend would bail you out of jail. Your best friend would be sitting right beside you saying "DAMN! THAT WAS FUN!

Along those lines... A good friend would bail you out of jail. Your best friend would help you bury the body.

“When I gave food to the poor, they called me a saint. When I asked why the poor were hungry, they called me a communist.”

"Steal not this book, my worthy friend
For fear the gallows will be your end;
Up the ladder, and down the rope,
There you'll hang until you choke;
Then I'll come along and say -
'Where's that book you stole away?'"
-- a medieval book curse

[RandallBoggs]

South Park
'Kenny's family is so poor that they had to put their cardboard box up for a second morgage'

^_^

[lizardgirl]

Not technically a quote, but my favourite couple of lines from Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein'-

'Even broken in spirit as he is, no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauty of nature. The starry sky, the sea, and every sight afforded by these wonderful regions, seems still to have the power of elevating his soul from the eath. Such a man has a double existence; he may suffer misery and be overwhelmed by disappointment, yet when he has retired into himself, he will be like a celestial spirit that has a halo around him, within whose circle no grief or folly ventures.'

[nauticusvergil]

Heheh, sounds like me sometimes.

Alright, this just popped into my head, but a relatively obscure one that I like is from Rosso from Zoids.

"Prepare yourself boy...THIS IS A BATTLE TO THE FINISH!"

[RandallBoggs]

^_^

OOH.

[nauticusvergil]

Heheheh, it's spoken when Van (the main character) is surrounded by Rosso's gang, and Van says that this isn't a fair fight, where Rosso explains that this isn't the playground anymore, this is actual combat, and then he says the line, heheh, it's kinda like an icon for the show. ^_^

[RandallBoggs]

Interesting...

[nauticusvergil]

Alright I've got an excellent one, it was shown at the end of Band of Brothers, but it was an actual speech made by Henry V of England to his army a very long time ago. It's an absolutely beautiful speech and it goes something like this.

"From this day, to the ending of the world, we in it shall be remembered, we lucky few, we band of brothers, for he who today sheds his blood with me....shall be my brother."

Just a part of it but that line really touches me in a lot of ways.

[RandallBoggs]

Yeah same ^_^

[nauticusvergil]

Heheh yeah, Tom Hanks really did an excellent job in molding it, I always cry at the end. ^_^

[RandallBoggs]

Tom Hanks seems great at emotions it seems.

[nauticusvergil]

Yeah I mean he himself isn't in the series, but he did a marvelous job on the setup.

[RandallBoggs]

^_^