windsofchange13
Randall's Skivvy (0-299)
Do you hear that? It's the winds of change *evil grin*
Posts: 51
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Post by windsofchange13 on Oct 18, 2010 17:02:16 GMT -5
1. Awesome epic fighting scene! 2. I was starting to wonder why Schwan wanted to get rid of MI. This explains it all. 3. Yay! Yeti! Great chapter!
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Post by TheOnePistol on Oct 18, 2010 18:04:07 GMT -5
1. Awesome epic fighting scene! 2. I was starting to wonder why Schwan wanted to get rid of MI. This explains it all. 3. Yay! Yeti! Great chapter! Thank you! XD
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Post by mistica0christina on Oct 20, 2010 1:53:12 GMT -5
Well...I figured that since you are taking the time to read my fic then it's only fair to read yours...now, what you have is written rather nice, I will admit that although personally I think I liked your first story a little better but that's just my own personal opinion. A slight little error, it's true that Mike doesn't have a physical nose but he does have a sense of smell, in the film when he asks for oderant, he smells his underarms first before Sulley hands him some for his date with Celia so that little bit you had about Mike wishing he had a nose, while it was amusing....it was a little bit incorrect in relation to that character....and here comes the part of this that I'm dreading, now, please don't take this the wrong way but this whole thing of Randall knowing martial arts...well, that part really threw me off. I don't know, maybe it's because normally those who are trained in some form of them seem to show a certain type of discipline and demeanor and Randall is a character who really seems to lack basically both that discipline and demeanor that I just mentioned. Watching the film, I wouldn't think along the lines of "wow, he knows karate" despite the scene between him and Sulley. I took it more of just a basic guy vs guy fight which almost ended as it could have due to Randall's camoflauging ability. While I have never taken any form of self defense classes at all, my younger brother (20) had taken Tae Kwon Do for a good number of years growing up and my other younger brother (12) is taking them right now...while I can't vouch for the little younger brother, the older sibling has at least still kept just a little of that discipline from when he used to go through his classes way back in the day...now whether that means he could still break boards, I doubt it, my brother hasn't done that in years and would probably break his hand more than the board...but back to with this and Randall. Like I said, it probably is a good idea for part of a plot, it's just not something I seem to be too fond of but it's your story so you can write it how you feel it should go. For right now, until you post up more chapters, that's all I have to really comment on. I think it was rather nice of you to use a character that wasn't of your creation and judging from Sgt.'s comments, you seem to be handling Reese very well so I see no need to really comment on that especially considering that I know very little about the character myself. Overall, I guess we'll just wait until the next chapter posting.
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Post by TheOnePistol on Oct 20, 2010 9:17:57 GMT -5
Well...I figured that since you are taking the time to read my fic then it's only fair to read yours...now, what you have is written rather nice, I will admit that although personally I think I liked your first story a little better but that's just my own personal opinion. A slight little error, it's true that Mike doesn't have a physical nose but he does have a sense of smell, in the film when he asks for oderant, he smells his underarms first before Sulley hands him some for his date with Celia so that little bit you had about Mike wishing he had a nose, while it was amusing....it was a little bit incorrect in relation to that character....and here comes the part of this that I'm dreading, now, please don't take this the wrong way but this whole thing of Randall knowing martial arts...well, that part really threw me off. I don't know, maybe it's because normally those who are trained in some form of them seem to show a certain type of discipline and demeanor and Randall is a character who really seems to lack basically both that discipline and demeanor that I just mentioned. Watching the film, I wouldn't think along the lines of "wow, he knows karate" despite the scene between him and Sulley. I took it more of just a basic guy vs guy fight which almost ended as it could have due to Randall's camoflauging ability. While I have never taken any form of self defense classes at all, my younger brother (20) had taken Tae Kwon Do for a good number of years growing up and my other younger brother (12) is taking them right now...while I can't vouch for the little younger brother, the older sibling has at least still kept just a little of that discipline from when he used to go through his classes way back in the day...now whether that means he could still break boards, I doubt it, my brother hasn't done that in years and would probably break his hand more than the board...but back to with this and Randall. Like I said, it probably is a good idea for part of a plot, it's just not something I seem to be too fond of but it's your story so you can write it how you feel it should go. For right now, until you post up more chapters, that's all I have to really comment on. I think it was rather nice of you to use a character that wasn't of your creation and judging from Sgt.'s comments, you seem to be handling Reese very well so I see no need to really comment on that especially considering that I know very little about the character myself. Overall, I guess we'll just wait until the next chapter posting. Yeah, I think the first story was better as well. :/ And also, you've pointed out some major things that i haven't noticed. If I would have noticed these flaws before, i would have changed them, but its too late now, i cant change it without screwing up the story. But i guess I can think of it this way, because there are some things in this story that just don't match up with the movie, I guess thats why its FanFiction. XD But yes I agree, these are some flaws that i wish i could fix, but cant. Oh well Thanks for reviewing, and ill have the next chapter up soon. Oh, and great job on your story so far, its AWSOMESAUSE! ;D
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Post by mistica0christina on Oct 20, 2010 11:44:12 GMT -5
Your welcome on the review, I'm pretty relieved to see that you took my review well but overall, I'm sure your story will do fine, looking forward to the next chapter and thank you on the comment on my fic as well.
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Post by TheOnePistol on Oct 20, 2010 12:34:59 GMT -5
Your welcome on the review, I'm pretty relieved to see that you took my review well but overall, I'm sure your story will do fine, looking forward to the next chapter and thank you on the comment on my fic as well. Yeah, I welcome reviewers that share what they didn't like about my stories. I take it as advice and tips to make my stories better for the people who enjoy reading them. Thank You ;D and Your Welcome
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windsofchange13
Randall's Skivvy (0-299)
Do you hear that? It's the winds of change *evil grin*
Posts: 51
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Post by windsofchange13 on Oct 23, 2010 20:12:46 GMT -5
I can't help but notice how I only write a few words but guys like you write entire paragraphs. XD No offense, but it looks as if I don't take it as seriously. :/
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Post by TheOnePistol on Oct 23, 2010 20:28:22 GMT -5
I can't help but notice how I only write a few words but guys like you write entire paragraphs. XD No offense, but it looks as if I don't take it as seriously. :/ Its ok, i welcome big reviews on my stories, it means that the reader is really into the story to leave such a big review.
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Post by TheOnePistol on Oct 24, 2010 19:29:09 GMT -5
Chapter 8: Touch Choices
Ned was waiting at the main entrance to MI when Shwan came up to him. “Alright, I took care of Randall.” He said smiling.
“What did you do with him?” Ned asked
“Don't worry, he's safe.” Shwan said “Alright, now we need to get down to the factories energy core”
Ned nodded, “Overloading it will take some time sir”
“That's not a problem, now come on, lets go” Shwan said walking away, and Ned following him.
…...........
“Jeez Sully, you a lot bigger than the last time I saw you” Yeti said carrying Sully (who was still unconscious) into his cave, followed by Randall.
“Wait, you two know each other?” Randall asked.
“Yeah, him and his buddy came though here, about three years ago.” Yeti said lying Sully on the ground.
Randall then remembered that “this” was the place him and Waternoose banished them. “Oh yeah”
“Hey, Iv got a question for you my lizard friend?”
“Yeah”
“I'm guessing you a reptile right?”
Randall nodded. “Then how are ya still, well you know, alive, and not an ice cube?” Yeti asked
“Well, I come from a family of warmblooded reptiles.”
“Really? I didn't even know those existed” Yeti said.
“It only exists in my family”
Just then Sully regained contentiousness. “Ugh, Wha, Where am I”
“Hey, easy big guy, you almost froze to death.” Yeti said
“Wha, Abominable Snowman?” Sully said
“Call me Yeti”
Sully sat up and tried to stand up.
“Whoa, whoa, hey big guy, don't move so sudden!” Yeti said, “You need to let your body temperature warm up again.”
Sully laid back down. “Randall, what happened, why did Shwan, how did you get here?”
Randall explained to Sully everything he knew about what was going on.
“We've gotta get back and stop him now!” Sully said standing up.
“How, were in the middle of the Himalayas!” Randall said.
“There's a village at the bottom of the mountain” Sully said, “We can get back the same we me and Mike did last time.”
“Whoa, no can do Sully” Yeti said “That village has been abandoned for the past year and a half.”
“What?!” Sully shouted, “What happened?”
“Avalanche”
“I don't know how were gonna get back then” Sully said sitting down.
“Well, there is another village at the bottom of the other side of the mountain.” Yeti said “ But unlike the the other village, you have to climb over the top and back down the other side, to get to it.”
“Great will never get there in time, this blizzard probably wont be over until tomorrow!” Randall shouted.
“Well, we are gonna have to go now, blizzard or no blizzard.” Sully said
“Hey wait guys, rule number one out he-”
“We don't have a choice” Sully said, “Don't you have anything we can put on to keep us warm?”
“Hmmm” Yeti thought for a moment.
…....
Ned and Shwan got into an elevator and Shwan pressed “Power Center” and the elevator began to go down. “Ned, we have to get rid of those two we have at the motel”
Ned starred at him for a moment, “Sir, I think we should-”
“We cannot let them live, they have seen too much.” Shwan interrupted.
“Sir, I'm only saying that-”
“Ned, do not argue with you master!” Shwan shouted.
“....(Sigh) yes sir” Ned said taking out his cellphone.
….........
Reese was lying on the bed watching TV the phone rang. Reese answered it. “Hello?”
“Reese, its Ned”
“Is something wrong sir?” Reese asked.
“No, this is concerning the two we have tied up in the bathroom."
"Don't worry sir, I've kept my eye on them, they aren't going any were." Reese said.
"Well that's good and all, but your gonna have to get rid of them"
“Ok, were do you want me to take them?” Reese asked.
“(Sigh), Reese, go to the cabinet on the left side of the room and look on the top shelf.” Ned said.
Reese went to the cabinet and felt around on the top shelf until he felt an object an took It down.
When Reese saw what It was that he pulled down, he gasped, for what he took down off the shelf was a (Monster version) Magnum.
“Sir, what do you want me to do?” Reese asked shocked.
“(Sigh) I need you to kill them.”
“.....B-but sir!”
“Do as your told Reese!”
“(Sigh) Yes sir” Reese said an hung up.
“Ok Celia, I think I know how we can get out of here” Mike said. “Ok you push against my back, and I'll push against yours and-”
Reese walked into the bathroom, holding the magnum in his hand. Reese just starred at them for a moment and then down at the magnum.
….............
“This way fellas!” Yeti said walking up the mountain, followed by Sully and Randall, who were wearing the funniest snow suits ever.
They had to rip apart some old human snow suits and put them together a certain way, so that Sully and Randall could fit in them.
They arrived at a “huge” rock formation and looked up. “Well this will be an experience” Randall said.
“What do you mean?” Sully asked.
“I've never been rock climbing before”
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Post by sgtyayap on Oct 25, 2010 8:14:31 GMT -5
Great job! I appreciate how you're making Reese have second thoughts. Interesting that Ned is starting to, too.
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Post by pitbulllady on Oct 25, 2010 19:02:00 GMT -5
OK...I've got a nit-pic, a BIG one, speaking from the perspective of a Biologist who also happens to know a LOT about reptiles and vertebrates in general.
Randall is NOT a REPTILE! There's no such thing as a "warm-blooded reptile", since being ectothermic("cold-blooded" is one of the key metabolic/physiological aspects that make reptiles REPTILES! In addition, Randall has a muscular diaphragm for breathing, which reptiles lack, as evidenced by his rib cage structure, and he has a different tooth/jaw structure from any past or present reptile, one that is uniquely mammalian, along with that diaphragm. Randall also perspires, which means he has sweat glands, ANOTHER mammalian trait, one found only in a handful of mammals at that. Randall's tongue is affixed at the rear of his mouth, whereas those of most reptiles, including all snakes and lizards, are affixed at the front of the mouth. For Randall, calling him a "lizard" would be nothing short of a racial slur, as it would imply that he was not a monster, but some sort of lower, less-evolved animal. To call Randall a reptile is akin to saying, "it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, waddles like a duck...so it must beee......a SNAKE!" I'm sorry to sound like such a stick-in-the-mud, but the whole reptile thing is a big stickler with me. Reptiles cannot be warm-blooded, otherwise they're not reptiles at all! That's why most scientist dispute the old claims of the dinosaurs being reptiles; nearly all current information strongly suggests that they were warm-blooded animals, with a very different internal structure and metabolism than any reptile, and very different social behaviors than any reptile as well. One little thing like that can just mess up a whole chapter, if not a whole story for me, since like I said before, I can't just turn my brain off and pretend I didn't see that or that it's not relevant. It's like this crime novel I was reading, which was actually pretty good, until a character made an unchallenged statement that wolves and dogs cannot produce fertile offspring because they are different species, which simply is NOT true at all! That just ruined it for me, because it blew the author's credibility out of the water.
pitbulllady
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Post by TheOnePistol on Oct 25, 2010 19:07:24 GMT -5
OK...I've got a nit-pic, a BIG one, speaking from the perspective of a Biologist who also happens to know a LOT about reptiles and vertebrates in general. Randall is NOT a REPTILE! There's no such thing as a "warm-blooded reptile", since being ectothermic("cold-blooded" is one of the key metabolic/physiological aspects that make reptiles REPTILES! In addition, Randall has a muscular diaphragm for breathing, which reptiles lack, as evidenced by his rib cage structure, and he has a different tooth/jaw structure from any past or present reptile, one that is uniquely mammalian, along with that diaphragm. Randall also perspires, which means he has sweat glands, ANOTHER mammalian trait, one found only in a handful of mammals at that. Randall's tongue is affixed at the rear of his mouth, whereas those of most reptiles, including all snakes and lizards, are affixed at the front of the mouth. For Randall, calling him a "lizard" would be nothing short of a racial slur, as it would imply that he was not a monster, but some sort of lower, less-evolved animal. To call Randall a reptile is akin to saying, "it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, waddles like a duck...so it must beee......a SNAKE!" I'm sorry to sound like such a stick-in-the-mud, but the whole reptile thing is a big stickler with me. Reptiles cannot be warm-blooded, otherwise they're not reptiles at all! That's why most scientist dispute the old claims of the dinosaurs being reptiles; nearly all current information strongly suggests that they were warm-blooded animals, with a very different internal structure and metabolism than any reptile, and very different social behaviors than any reptile as well. One little thing like that can just mess up a whole chapter, if not a whole story for me, since like I said before, I can't just turn my brain off and pretend I didn't see that or that it's not relevant. It's like this crime novel I was reading, which was actually pretty good, until a character made an unchallenged statement that wolves and dogs cannot produce fertile offspring because they are different species, which simply is NOT true at all! That just ruined it for me, because it blew the author's credibility out of the water. pitbulllady Calm down! Yeti even said that he didn't know "Warm blooded reptiles existed" and Randall said "They only exist in his family" In the "Human World" there is no such thing as a warm blooded reptile, but who are you to say they don't exist in the "Monster World"! There are ALLOT of creatures in the Monster World that don't exist in the Human World. And in MY story, Warm Blooded Reptiles are one of them! Thats why its called Fan FICTION!
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Post by pitbulllady on Oct 25, 2010 19:29:42 GMT -5
OK...I've got a nit-pic, a BIG one, speaking from the perspective of a Biologist who also happens to know a LOT about reptiles and vertebrates in general. Randall is NOT a REPTILE! There's no such thing as a "warm-blooded reptile", since being ectothermic("cold-blooded" is one of the key metabolic/physiological aspects that make reptiles REPTILES! In addition, Randall has a muscular diaphragm for breathing, which reptiles lack, as evidenced by his rib cage structure, and he has a different tooth/jaw structure from any past or present reptile, one that is uniquely mammalian, along with that diaphragm. Randall also perspires, which means he has sweat glands, ANOTHER mammalian trait, one found only in a handful of mammals at that. Randall's tongue is affixed at the rear of his mouth, whereas those of most reptiles, including all snakes and lizards, are affixed at the front of the mouth. For Randall, calling him a "lizard" would be nothing short of a racial slur, as it would imply that he was not a monster, but some sort of lower, less-evolved animal. To call Randall a reptile is akin to saying, "it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, waddles like a duck...so it must beee......a SNAKE!" I'm sorry to sound like such a stick-in-the-mud, but the whole reptile thing is a big stickler with me. Reptiles cannot be warm-blooded, otherwise they're not reptiles at all! That's why most scientist dispute the old claims of the dinosaurs being reptiles; nearly all current information strongly suggests that they were warm-blooded animals, with a very different internal structure and metabolism than any reptile, and very different social behaviors than any reptile as well. One little thing like that can just mess up a whole chapter, if not a whole story for me, since like I said before, I can't just turn my brain off and pretend I didn't see that or that it's not relevant. It's like this crime novel I was reading, which was actually pretty good, until a character made an unchallenged statement that wolves and dogs cannot produce fertile offspring because they are different species, which simply is NOT true at all! That just ruined it for me, because it blew the author's credibility out of the water. pitbulllady Calm down! Yeti even said that he didn't know "Warm blooded reptiles existed" and Randall said "They only exist in his family" In the "Human World" there is no such thing as a warm blooded reptile, but who are you to say they don't exist in the "Monster World"! There are ALLOT of creatures in the Monster World that don't exist in the Human World. And in MY story, Warm Blooded Reptiles are one of them! Thats why its called Fan FICTION! Then, WE would be considered "reptiles", too, in the Monster World, wouldn't we? We share virtually every physiological/metabolical characteris with Randall, after all. Scales aren't unique to reptiles; all birds have 'em, and many mammals. There is a rough-animated scene on the DVD, which was cut from the movie(probably because it would make Randall look too sympathetic and too vulnerable), in which he is giving his girlfriend/fiance' a tour of the factory to try to appease her, and she's nagging at him about how he never takes her anywhere anymore, etc...and she's scaly like him, BUT she also has a pair of VERY noticeable breasts! She also has hair in place of his fronds. All that adds up to one thing: MAMMAL. That crime novel I tried to read was fiction, too, but even a fiction writer has to do some research on their topic. pitbulllady
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Post by TheOnePistol on Oct 25, 2010 19:34:52 GMT -5
Calm down! Yeti even said that he didn't know "Warm blooded reptiles existed" and Randall said "They only exist in his family" In the "Human World" there is no such thing as a warm blooded reptile, but who are you to say they don't exist in the "Monster World"! There are ALLOT of creatures in the Monster World that don't exist in the Human World. And in MY story, Warm Blooded Reptiles are one of them! Thats why its called Fan FICTION! Then, WE would be considered "reptiles", too, in the Monster World, wouldn't we? We share virtually every physiological/metabolical characteris with Randall, after all. Scales aren't unique to reptiles; all birds have 'em, and many mammals. There is a rough-animated scene on the DVD, which was cut from the movie(probably because it would make Randall look too sympathetic and too vulnerable), in which he is giving his girlfriend/fiance' a tour of the factory to try to appease her, and she's nagging at him about how he never takes her anywhere anymore, etc...and she's scaly like him, BUT she also has a pair of VERY noticeable breasts! She also has hair in place of his fronds. All that adds up to one thing: MAMMAL. That crime novel I tried to read was fiction, too, but even a fiction writer has to do some research on their topic. pitbulllady Allright, good points. Even thought it probably isnt true, i like the idea, so im gonna keep it, but i probably wont mention it again in my story. Besides THAT part, do you atleast like the story so far? Also, what part of the dvd had that scene in it? I would like to see it. ;D I didnt know Randall had a finance!
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Post by sgtyayap on Oct 25, 2010 20:20:32 GMT -5
Come on, everyone, let's just calm down here. For one thing, that concern is nothing to fret about, pitbulllady; for one thing, it's not like that particular part, if any of it, is political propaganda.
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