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Post by RandallBoggs on Apr 8, 2005 17:00:08 GMT -5
Demoralizing? No.
It was just...wow....long heh. And Randall's quiet...."eliquent" burst out was unexpected at that time heh. Really...good work....
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Post by Light Rises on Apr 8, 2005 18:00:09 GMT -5
*bounces* WOW! What an awesome surprise! ;D I must say, that epilogue kicks some serious butt (and more than makes up for that, admittedly, rather "lukewarm" first meeting between Randall and Sulley since Randall's death in the last chapter). It seems to work better this way, in a sense, because now Randall has had 34 (pardon my French) friggin' YEARS to keep this all to himself, which makes his outburst here all the more effective. He just sat there, in silence, for a while, contemplating. Even Sullivan’s “sorry”s had quieted. There were no sounds; not even of his own breathing (obviously), but it didn’t disturb him, because he was used to it by now (if such a thing is possible). “Sullivan?” Randall had lifted his head clear of his body. The words were spoken quietly, but through contrast with the silence around them, it seemed extremely loud and sudden. “Yes?” The reply was tentative. “I … think that forgiveness is possible. Maybe. I mean, we’re both dead. Our lives our over. We can’t go back.” He shot a look at Death, and he nodded in confirmation. “Do – ah, I mean did – our lives even matter, here? What we did in them?” He was struggling to put thoughts that he had been pondering for years into words. “So, I think, I can forgive you. It doesn’t really matter, one way or another, does it? Really? Wherever we go, do they care what we did in life? That’s the point of guardianship and things, to make up for misdeeds or sins or whatever, so we start of with a clean slate? Isn’t it? I don’t want to have to – leave anything unfinished, you know? I…” He ran a hand through his fronds. Randall then seemed to come to a decision. He worked quickly to untangle himself, smoothing the folds of his trench coat as they became wrinkled. He turned to face the recently deceased monster. Back straight, shoulders squared, he looked the spirit of James P. Sullivan in the eyes. “I forgive you.”<br> Sullivan looked most startled by this pronouncement, but could think of only one thing to say. “Thank-you.” *smiles warmly* You handled that really well. The reasoning you had Randall use here works quite nicely, and despite Randall and Sulley's history, I'm still glad to see them sort of come to terms and be at peace with each other. And the fact that you made their "coming to terms" believable was very helpful, too. That was just...really nice. "Oh, and that question you asked? About where I heard that particular addition to my vocabulary?" "What, *****?" "Yes." "What about it?" "I learnt it from Wazowski." LOL! I just LOVE that part, for some reason. ;D And naw, I don't mind the asterisks at all. I've found that oftentimes, it really IS better to leave these things to the readers' imaginations.^^ So, let's see...anything to improve upon? Well, there are a couple of places where you lapse into present tense for several sentences (such as when Randall tries to scare Sulley right after Sulley dies, and in the last few paragraphs, too). But that's really it, I think. Don't worry, I'll read "Fallen"...soon as I get around to reading OotP first, that is. -_-; Anywho...thank you so much for this gift of ficcage! I'll post a title idea here as soon as I think of a decent one. And happy birthday! *wishes she could give you a present back, but all she has is those leftover Milkbones...* ;D ~Light Rises
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Post by pitbulllady on Apr 8, 2005 18:30:48 GMT -5
Whew...that was so emotional! I went from a "YESSS!" that you'd updated and finished it, to laughing my butt off at Randall's tirade(I'd imagined he would have made the most hard-core gangsta rapper cringe at that point), to actually getting a lump in my throat and having to stop and wipe my eyes....*cough*allergies*cough*...pretty strong stuff.
pitbulllady
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Post by RandallBoggs on Apr 8, 2005 18:34:21 GMT -5
Think he got Randall's peak of....well....not TOTAL anger...as that's a control concept....but peak of the feeling...^_^
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Post by Mirage on Apr 8, 2005 18:45:05 GMT -5
Wow, that story was AWESOME!! Great job. I do love Randall's rant. ;D And the parts LR mentioned. The whole thing is....great.
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Beboots
Randall's Head Servant (300-799)
Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a plague in Equatorial Guinea that I have to attend.
Posts: 646
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Post by Beboots on Apr 8, 2005 22:55:30 GMT -5
Awww... You guys make me feel all warm inside. ;D Hugs all around! *hugs everyone*
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Post by lizardgirl on Apr 9, 2005 11:10:24 GMT -5
Oh my god...Just to say, I'm actually crying now. That must be one of the best pieces of writing I've ever read. I mean, seriously. The dialogue between Randall and Sullivan was so believable, I had to stop reading it and calm myself down! You control the reader's emotions so well in your writing- when you want them to laugh, they laugh, and when you want them to cry, they cry, because every single word written is exactly the right word to be used, and if another word was used, it just wouldn't have the same effect. So, hats off to you, Beboots- you've done all us Randall fans proud.
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Post by RandallBoggs on Apr 9, 2005 11:26:23 GMT -5
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Beboots
Randall's Head Servant (300-799)
Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a plague in Equatorial Guinea that I have to attend.
Posts: 646
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Post by Beboots on Apr 9, 2005 11:43:29 GMT -5
You control the reader's emotions so well in your writing- when you want them to laugh, they laugh, and when you want them to cry, they cry, because every single word written is exactly the right word to be used, and if another word was used, it just wouldn't have the same effect. So, hats off to you, Beboots- you've done all us Randall fans proud. Why, thank you! I pride myself in my choice of wording when I write; after I write a sentence (or paragraph, whatever, if I'm caught up in the writing), I agonize over how to phrase it correctly, if it can be rearranged to better effect, etc. Thanks for acknowledging it. ^_^ *huggles*
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Post by lizardgirl on Apr 9, 2005 11:57:26 GMT -5
*huggles back* Oh god YOU'RE SO GOOD AT WRITING!!!
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*cough* ;D
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Post by RandallBoggs on Apr 9, 2005 12:00:50 GMT -5
Well....like everyone. ^_^
Your really good at your word choice, even the heh *****........what? NO! I...I didn't say anything....it's just the stars right heh heh....
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Post by Ranger Parsec on Apr 9, 2005 15:16:58 GMT -5
You're a MARVELOUS author, Beboots! This was quite a surprise indeed - but a pleasant one! I really love how you did the epilogue, that was really well-done. And Randall forgiving Sulley and the whole thing. . .wow. You handled that extremely well - it was very touching. This is probably among one of the best Randall fics I've seen yet.
Wonderful job. ^_^ Kudos.
*huggles ya*
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Post by Light Rises on Apr 9, 2005 15:52:34 GMT -5
I pride myself in my choice of wording when I write; after I write a sentence (or paragraph, whatever, if I'm caught up in the writing), I agonize over how to phrase it correctly, if it can be rearranged to better effect, etc. Holy smokes...I do exactly the same thing! *high fives her fellow perfectionist* ;D And yeah, I have to agree with Joy -- this really IS one of the best Randall fanfics I've come across. I'd love to see you post it on your DA account eventually, just so that I end up having yet another excuse to read it again. ~Light Rises
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Beboots
Randall's Head Servant (300-799)
Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a plague in Equatorial Guinea that I have to attend.
Posts: 646
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Post by Beboots on Apr 9, 2005 16:34:22 GMT -5
Holy smokes...I do exactly the same thing! *high fives her fellow perfectionist* ;D And yeah, I have to agree with Joy -- this really IS one of the best Randall fanfics I've come across. I'd love to see you post it on your DA account eventually, just so that I end up having yet another excuse to read it again. ~Light Rises *high fives* Yes - perfectionism; a blessing and a curse. I'll post it on DA, if someone could create one of those (what do you call 'em?) sample picture things? For the fic, I mean; because I have no idea what to do for it. If someone were to create one for me, I'll gladly post it on DA.
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Post by RandallBoggs on Apr 9, 2005 16:43:19 GMT -5
I have a suggestion.....for the pic I mean...
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